You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
