Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
