i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
