Dual....:-)
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
