Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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