I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
