There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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