Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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