"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
