so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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