I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
too bad you live with your parents still
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
