i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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