pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How's work?
Spinning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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