come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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