lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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