if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize