I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize