I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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