Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's blow job season.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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