My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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