Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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