I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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