Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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