i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
