dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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