Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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