does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize