Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
