How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
