stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize