We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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