Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
