I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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