Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
