I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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