Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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