i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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