I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize