I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He is an equal opportunity slut.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
