That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
