Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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