you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
