after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
