Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sext me about skeletons
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
