You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
it was like eating out sand paper
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
