dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
