Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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