why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
