u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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