I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize