Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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