He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
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Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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