We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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