i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize