My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
