it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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