i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize