He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
wanna go halves on a baby?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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